Lessons from the Spa

The truth is, I'm not one to jump at an opportunity to go to a spa. I strongly prefer to be surrounded by the soothing waters of a hot bubble bath in the privacy of my home to public pampering. But despite my lack of enthusiasm for the spa, I resonate with this week's article, "Vulnerable and Unashamed." In it, Christin Taylor shares what a recent getaway to a Korean Day Spa taught her about friendship.

Like Christin, I too have struggled with the making and the breaking of friendships. I've found myself afraid of the vulnerability required to make new friends. I've cried at the loss of friends once held dear.

So while I shy away from going to the spa, I view it a bit differently since reading this article. Much like a loofa at the spa scrubs away dead skin, friendship is yet another way, as Christin writes, that God does a scrubbing work on our souls.

And as I reflect on this, I find myself newly challenged to break through walls I've erected in my heart to pursue new friendships, as well as continue to strengthen the old.

My soul could use another good scrubbing.

Pennies for Piggy

So I mentioned in my recent article, "Piggy Bank Holiday", that I have had some pretty amazing opportunties mystery shopping. I'd like to share what I've learned.

Main Search engines for Mystery Shopping Companies:

• Volition.com—Go to their list of mystery shopping companies and begin filling out forms. You can expect to put your social security number in their system. These companies are legitimate. (I recommend copy pasting your essays into a word document and pasting them into each new application.)

• Jobslinger.com—This is an easy way to find shops in your area. Don't be fooled; not all jobs are posted here.

• Sassieshop.com—They have several companies that you also have to register with individually.

Individual companies that have treated me well:

• Second to None— Starbucks, Gamestop, Bank Shops

• Bestmark—Best Buy, Target, Borders Cafe, Dunn Brothers

• QAMS—Yummy restaurants such as Minerva's, Coldstone, Schlotzky's

• ICCDS—Champs, Footlocker, Vitamin World

• Corporate Research International—Stride Rite, Aeropostale, Exxon, Papa Johns

• MarketForce—Grocery shops and audits, Outback Steakhouse, cellular companies

• Shopper's Critique International—High and low end hair salons. Free haircuts!

Remember, you should not ever have to pay anyone to become a mystery shopper. These links will take you directly to the companies. You are then hired as an "individual contractor." Your information is secure.

You can expect to be paid between $10-$25 per shop. Some reimburse entire meals. Shops in rural areas are eligible for mileage and a bonus. Remember to take out self-employment taxes if you earn over $600 in shopper fees. There is a difference between fees and reimbursements.Some companies do one, the other, or sometimes both.

This is not an exhaustive list. Get started, have fun, and pay attention to details. At first, there is a lot of reading and guidelines to follow. As you catch on, it becomes second nature to take in all your surroundings!

Throne Room

Embarrassing confession: sometimes I read my Bible...in the bathroom. Not while I'm going to the bathroom, mind you. But since the bathroom door locks, and since the noisy exhaust fan can drown out most of the children's chatter, well, a porcelain stool is sometimes the best this mom can manage.

When the kids were younger, and even less likely to "give Mommy some quiet time," I met God in that throne room quite regularly. Once, after a particularly kid-crazy afternoon, I locked myself in the bathroom, sat cross-legged on the linoleum floor, and opened my Bible.

Knock, knock went a little fist on the door. I ignored it.

"Doin', Mommy?" came my toddler son's voice.

"Mommy's reading, honey. You go watch the show while Mommy reads."

The little feet padded off and I read on, until two chubby fingers wiggled under the door.

"I pay you some music, Mommy!" And with that, a toy kuzoo appeared where the fingers had been, and my son, laying in the hall outside, began to blow. Loudly.

Isn't that how most mommy getaways go? And yet, even though a young mom's "quiet time" is infrequent and interrupted, it's still important. Too important not to take. After all, "You cannot impart what you do not possess." I can't give away what I don't have, which means I must stay in constant contact with the Source of life. I can't impart faith to my children if I don't have my own relationship with God. At church, I can't teach what I haven't learned. I can't speak kind words to my husband unless I let God soften my heart through prayer and His word.

What can I offer, if I don't spend time alone with my Savior? And so, I lock myself in the bathroom, and ignore my sweet children for just a bit, so that I can come into the transformative presence of God...in the bathroom.

Small Escapes

Sitting on the back deck sipping coffee, or soaking in a hot bubble bath, are both ways I slip in small escapes from my daily routine. These quick getaways help me to not only cope, but to take in everyday types of pleasures I might otherwise miss. A minute to stop and smell the roses, as the old cliché goes.

And it's important to make the most of these because sometimes the bigger types of getaways can be far and few between.

Jesus knew the value of taking time away. In Mark 6:45-46, He had all His disciples get into the boat and instead of getting in with them, Scripture says, "after bidding them farewell ... He departed to the mountain to pray" (NASB).

God understands the need to getaway.

This week in "Piggy Bank Holiday," Marian Green shares how she's learning to escape those things that hold her back from the getaways she deeply desires. She writes:

I unload the dishwasher and turn to stack the plates in the cabinet as I daydream about restaurant meals. I freeze—face to face with the villain keeping me from my dream of a family vacation. (No, it's not my husband. At this early hour, he's still sleeping.) It is my French door, pull-out drawer, filtered water, stainless steel refrigerator. Her matching sister, my super-powered, ultra-hot, 7-cycled dishwasher helps foil my vacation plans, too. In fact, as I turn circles in my kitchen, I catch a glimpse of the 42-inch flat screen plasma TV, the leather couch, the new curtains, and the shiny red laptop.

Doo-do-da-doo-doo. The jingle of my front-loading washer and dryer rouses me from my daze.

What is keeping us from a vacation? It's me.

And in Jennifer Napier's "The Great Mommy Escape," she shares how she manages to slip in little getaways during her daily routine:

Life isn't perfect. It's full of ups and downs, highs and lows, ebb and flow. I realize that things aren't going to always be this way. There will be time to care for the house as the kids get older. There will be time to breathe ... someday. Until then I hold onto hope that running to my Abba Father and sitting in His lap for just a few moments will give me the courage and strength I need to go back out and wrestle the never ending tasks of caring for my children and my home.

Why not take some time for some small escapes this week? And after you do, stop back here at Fresh Brew to let us know how you're doing it.

The Age-Old Issue

I didn't set out to marry an older man. But I did. My husband Ted is 12 years my senior.

This week we were asked, along with author Suzanne Hadley and her fiancé Kevin (they are eight years apart in age), to talk about this on The Boundless Show podcast. The four of us sat down with host Lisa Anderson and chatted about what it's like to be in a relationship with a significant age difference.

Take a listen and let me know your thoughts.

The Not-So-Peaceful Getaway

Before His arrest, Jesus retreated to the Garden of Gethsemane. There, the ESV Bible says He "began to be sorrowful and troubled" (Matthew 26:37).

For Jesus, His time away that night didn't equal rest and relaxation. It was characterized by struggle, loneliness, and emotional and spiritual turmoil.

As Christina Holder touches on in this week's article, "Gethsemane's Gift," Jesus' example in Gethsemane, as well as the other "getaways" He took throughout His 33 years, teach us that time away doesn't always fit into the nice, neat definition we've created for them in modern culture. She writes:

Sometimes the point of a getaway isn't to help us to relax or to experience peace or to rest. Travel ads slicked with shiny, pristine beaches and turquoise water have somehow convinced us that we need vacations and have a right to do nothing but rest and to drink pina coladas during them.

Sometimes God's getaways are filled with hardship. Those times away are rich but full of brokenness. They force us to face what we fear most—what we aren't willing to face during normal working hours.

Christina shares how her own "getaway" to Liberia is forcing her to face her own fears.

It's a thought-provoking article that has reminded me that whether relaxing or difficult, the best getaway is the one that serves to draw us closer to God.

The Great Book Giveaway Winners

With the help of Random.org and their Integer Generator, I've chosen our three winners in Ungrind's Great Book Giveaway.

Wait ... did I say three? Weren't there only two books up for grabs?

Yes ... and well, no. After I announced we were giving away one copy of Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes! and one copy of Sisterchicks Go Brit!, I was given a third book in the Sisterchicks Series to add to the contest—Sisterchicks in Gondolas. Nice surprise, huh?

But back to our three—not merely two—winners.

Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes! goes to Amy (comment #8), while Sisterchicks Go Brit! will soon be in the mail to Jessica (comment #9). And that final surprise book? Well, I'll be sending Sisterchicks in Gondolas to another Jessica (comment #5).

Congrats to all three of our winners! I'll be sending you an email soon requesting your snail mail addresses.

Trouble in Paradise

My family got to go to Hawaii a few weeks ago and we had a blast. I had planned lots of things I thought my hubby and kids (ages four and two) would like: hikes through tropical rain forests, waterfalls, snorkeling, beach days. All of these are things I enjoy too, but let's just say my husband is more "Let's go jump that fence and see what's on the other side of that dirt road" and I'm more like "Was that a swap meet we just passed?"

By our third day on the island, I was exhausted. We had been out with the kids for 12-hour days, straining to see everything we could. There was trouble brewing in paradise. Plus I'm 20 weeks pregnant and starting to feel sorry for myself. Doesn't my husband care that most of the day, we're away from a decent bathroom and I am getting tired of holding it in! Thankfully, instead of being a whiny wife, I laid in my bed and prayed, Lord, speak to my husband. Have him ask how I am doing and what I would like to do tomorrow.

We were vacationing with my parents, so I had to laugh because the very next morning, my mom said to my hubby, "You know, you should slow down with Arlene and the kids. You need to ask HER what she wants to do!" And of course, I had not spoken to my mom about this at all. So James sweetly asked what I would like to do. That day, we stopped for a cup of genuine kona coffee and slowed down.

When you're married, ideal getaways can look very different for the husband and the wife. But I've found that preferring your spouse works wonderfully well, especially when you're both using that as a recipe for a great getaway!

Naptime

Last year, my parents offered to babysit our kids for spring break. They asked to take them—all three—on an airplane to another state for an entire week! Immediately I said yes to their proposal (actually, I may have yelled it), and I started making plans for a kidless week with just Andy.

What would we do with all our free time? Romantic dinners, long walks on the beach at sunset ... everything we never get to do with three kids. Andy and I packed their bags, dropped them off at the airport with Grandpa, and drove back home alone. And then, we did what every deeply in-love married couple does when they find themselves with an empty house.

We took a nap.

A three-hour, uninterrupted, completely unromantic nap, and it was heavenly.

I once heard someone say, "Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap." Anyone else agree? What do you anticipate the most on your getaways?

The Great Book Giveaway

Today I admired Vermeer's The Milkmaid at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.

OK, so I didn't actually see the work of art in person. Or look at a physical photograph. But it did adorn the pages of my imagination as I indulged in the fictional tale of Summer and Noelle in Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes! It's book #8 in the Sisterchicks Series by one of my favorite Christian fiction writers, Robin Jones Gunn.

I started reading Robin's books back in the late 80s when her Christy Miller Series was first published by Focus on the Family. In Christy, Robin captured a realistic picture of what it was like to be a teenage girl. I could relate. And over the course of eight years, Christy became a dear friend.

Today I continue to devour novels by Robin. This includes all of the titles in her Sisterchicks series—despite the fact this collection of books are about women in their 40s and 50s, not in their 30s like me.

While some of these women's experiences are foreign to me—for example, I still have small children living at home, while theirs are grown and have left the nest—we share commonalities. Like the ladies in these books, I sometimes struggle to let go of control of my life and trust God, I have wrestled with what it means to forgive someone who's hurt me, and I have wondered what to do with dreams and desires that currently sit dormant. Through each thoughtfully-written and humorous book in the series, I've been reminded that God is active and at work in the lives of His children.

WaterBrook Press has been kind enough to supply me with one copy of Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes! and one copy of Sisterchicks Go Brit! to give away on Fresh Brew. To enter, leave a comment on this post. I'll randomly choose two comments on Saturday, June 13th. One will receive Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes! and the other will win Sisterchicks Go Brit! I apologize to our international readers, but the contest is only open to those residing within the United States.

Comments are now closed on this post. To see who won, click here.